Why am I settling again?
It has been months of simple joys, emotion surges, second-guessing and sleepless nights. It was all fun and casual until cards were finally laid on the table.
This is what we are, why we are not, and how I chose to stay when I should have walked away.
How can I be so stupid? Once again, I was blinded by all the good that I have turned a blind eye to the rest. I should have shifted my gaze, but right now, it is too late. I’m in too deep.
We’ve made it clear, but somehow I put myself in the position everyone have put me in. I have allowed you to make it happen. What now?
I wonder how long will I be able to hold on. I wonder how long will I keep fooling myself that it’s all worth it.
I may know already how this one’s ending, but for future use: You deserve better. You deserve to be cared for that goes beyond convenience. You deserve to be more than “just a friend”. You deserve the time and attention you keep giving to everyone else. You deserve to be loved.
Babble Away 